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decayeddecadent Partly because I need a change, partly because I've had this thing for a year and some months now and I'm too much of a cheapass to get a rename token.
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I am the patron saint of lost causes.
Hands, like secrets, are the hardest thing to keep from you.
30 April 2009 @ 07:13 pm
decayeddecadent Partly because I need a change, partly because I've had this thing for a year and some months now and I'm too much of a cheapass to get a rename token.
28 April 2009 @ 04:44 pm
Mixing wine with champagne and Bacardi is like willfully swallowing battery acid. I'm serious. That shit could probably strip paint off walls. Tack on three Adios Motherfuckers and vodka shots of an indeterminate number, and the bed is the only place I'm going for a couple of hours.
All of this for the sake of proving that Aoi can't drink me under the table.
Fucker was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed this morning, even if he still can't walk straight.
Something is very wrong with that picture.
Last night was nice, though. I'm sorry about failing so hard and having to go to bed earlier than normal.
I'm out of Green tea ice cream.
23 April 2009 @ 12:39 pm
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I woke up with a crick in my neck. I must be getting old, cause every last muscle is stiff like piano wire. I didn't so much sleep as pass out from exhaustion, and ended up on the floor with one of the dogs licking my face. I'm kinda confused still.
Came home to find some greasy stray rhythm guitarist had crashed on my couch. He snores and kinda drools all over my fucking couch, and he spoons the second you come 4.3 inches into range, but I don't have the heart or the energy to kick him out, so I guess I'll keep him until either someone claims him or the ASPCA comes to collect him.
Nothing to do but sleep and do some of the gayest shit ever by watching French films with blurry subtitles and crying like a motherfucker. Don't judge me, it's how I spent the better part of my morning/early afternoon.
I guess I'll spend some time in the garage and under the car. Something about grease under the nails that helps keep me calm.
Kinda wish I hadn't spilled my guts cause the night could've gone so much better; trying to think of a thousand ways to apologize and keep things gentle and easy between us even if I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
r00kz , we're gonna destroy the kitchen Friday. Bring your sleeping bag, it's gonna be a party. We'll even braid each other's weave. Or comb it.But I need you to tell me it's okay. We're okay.
20 April 2009 @ 12:46 pm
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Mary Mary (Stigmatic Mix) - Chumbawamba</div>
Since it's gone from 75 and sunny to a constant downpour in the space of about twenty-five minutes, I figured I'd kill some time.
I'll be home late Thursday/early Friday morning. That said, I've kinda picked up a handful of bad habits. Attitude's got a bit more snap to it, bucks like a bronco. Hard to tell if it's just a phase, but I feel...different. Changed just enough to where it's something to notice, but I can't bring myself to think of it as a bad thing.
I've only been utterly slaughtered at the tables about four times in total. The rest of the time I either held my own or came away with most of it. I've got a fedora?
I'm sorta in the market for an SSC ultimate aero, but I dunno. Kinda sad that someone down here was driving an Audi R8 and it took me five minutes to pull my tongue back into my mouth and stop the river of drool. Only thing going through my head was 'Holy shit, the Ironman car!'
All things considered, maybe I haven't changed that much.
I picked up something for a few of you. One thing in particular I kinda wanna deliver by hand instead of mail. I'm hinging the weekend on too much hope.
Funny. I came here to get away from everything/myself for a little while. Last thing on my mind when I turned down the lights was still you. Can't sit still lately.
Mary Mary (Stigmatic Mix) - Chumbawamba</div>
Since it's gone from 75 and sunny to a constant downpour in the space of about twenty-five minutes, I figured I'd kill some time.
I'll be home late Thursday/early Friday morning. That said, I've kinda picked up a handful of bad habits. Attitude's got a bit more snap to it, bucks like a bronco. Hard to tell if it's just a phase, but I feel...different. Changed just enough to where it's something to notice, but I can't bring myself to think of it as a bad thing.
I've only been utterly slaughtered at the tables about four times in total. The rest of the time I either held my own or came away with most of it. I've got a fedora?
I'm sorta in the market for an SSC ultimate aero, but I dunno. Kinda sad that someone down here was driving an Audi R8 and it took me five minutes to pull my tongue back into my mouth and stop the river of drool. Only thing going through my head was 'Holy shit, the Ironman car!'
All things considered, maybe I haven't changed that much.
I picked up something for a few of you. One thing in particular I kinda wanna deliver by hand instead of mail. I'm hinging the weekend on too much hope.
Funny. I came here to get away from everything/myself for a little while. Last thing on my mind when I turned down the lights was still you. Can't sit still lately.
13 April 2009 @ 03:18 am
Waking up lately from dreams that are too painfully vivid.
I want to say something witty or clever, but instead I can still taste how it lingers every time I lick my lips.
After all this time, my palms still sweat and my heart races.
Kinda want to go back to bed now, even though I know "The hardest part about dreaming about someone you love is having to wake up."
I'm probably going to end up falling asleep to the Misfits again.
07 April 2009 @ 12:31 pm
It's been a long while since I've woken up and not known where I was. I think it's the quiet that confused me. I woke up sometime around five, just early enough to catch the very start of sunrise. I'm not entirely sure when it became such a symbolic sort of thing in my life that I'd grown to anticipate it. Funny how we can spend our whole lives looking at one thing and never really see it until something makes you take a step back and look again.
I went out and got breakfast and coffee, but I'm still not sure if you've touched yours. I know we'll have to go back home eventually, but I think I'm too satisfied with having successfully kidnapped you to dwell on that just yet.
You've been unquestioning this whole time, and I'll admit it felt nice to be able to relax last night. You're helping me more than you fully realize. These past couple of days are the most traveling I've done in a while, which is finally adding miles to the Viper. I'd almost forgotten how it handled until recently.
Still kinda want to apologize for that speed kick.
Things have a way of working out just fine. I'm not worried so much. Just impatient and patient at the same time.
Finally got around to checking my voicemail. There's only four messages and maybe one of those is really important or urgent. But I'm not really sure that I want to go back to solving other people's problems right now. Is that selfish? Maybe so.
I think I'm in a good place right now, though.
Bottom line is I just want you all to be happy.
It's just about time for lunch.
Current Music: Do It Alone-Sugarcult
05 April 2009 @ 10:25 pm
I returned from my trip. I got only as far as the city outskirts, though that's probably partly because I have difficulty keeping my foot off the accelerator once I'm no longer on the main stretch of road. I ended up at some cherry blossom festival for the better part of four hours. I brought back gifts, as promised. Nothing all that impressive, but I'll probably drop them off sometime this week. The ones I haven't already given out, that is.
I ended up visiting family on the way back and have my regrets about that, as good as it was to see them. If only because the conversation took an uncomfortable turn at one point and I didn't know how to respond.
The apartment is clean again. I can see the floor again and it's slightly disorienting. It most likely won't last, considering how quickly I fuck things up lately. There's no food here any longer either. I brought back frozen food trays but I tossed them out. I ended up sleeping at the house of someone I barely know last night.
There's still, however, copious amounts of alcohol, half of which will be gone by morning, at this rate.
I also got Hennaed. I feel sort of like a large doodle.
I like how I can say so much and yet nothing at all.
31 March 2009 @ 01:47 pm
The sugar gliders have reproduced. I'm taking full responsibility, because it never occurred to me that the white one would turn out to be female. So I'm stuck with roughly five babies, most of which take after their father. But there are two white ones. I have no idea how I'm going to find homes for these things. There's a chance I might just decide to keep the lot of them and be overrun.
I spent the better part of last night spray painting a mural on the apartment wall. The fumes are still fairly strong. Here's hoping they don't end up suffocating the pets.
My mood has been all over the place lately. Last night was probably the most relaxed/content I've been in a couple of weeks. I still haven't bothered to clean. Chances are it's only a matter of time before the OCD compulsion kicks in. But as it stands, I'm embracing the zen of clutter. Or trash.
There is absolutely no food here. Then again, considering what a fatass I've been recently, I'm not objecting to a diet of black coffee and peppermints.
There's a lot I need to and probably should say, but I'm afraid of how it'd sound.
27 March 2009 @ 12:24 pm
Hiatus lifted, for the sake of thinking I might have my shit together again. I may have to invest in a biohazard suit just to walk through the apartment. Lack of motivation to peel my ass off the couch also results in a total lack of house upkeep. I've got a stress fracture in my right foot. I won't get into how that happened.
I should probably stop being a slob and wash the sheets on the couch, at least.
Current Music: Cats in the Dark--Melody Club
15 March 2009 @ 03:09 am
My edges are blurring out of focus. Indefinite hiatus. I'll be around now and then if you absolutely need to get in touch with me. Otherwise, don't expect too much from me.
I'm going to need a few weeks at least, if not more.
Current Music: The District Sleeps Alone Tonight-Postal Service
